What am I doing wrong?? September 26 2018, 0 Comments

A friends daughter went thru a couple of bad
days recently...she was left out of what she thought was her 
good friend group and found out via social media.
My friend was pretty upset as you can imagine
watching her daughter go thru this.
After telling me what happened, she said
"What am I doing wrong??"
I've been thinking of that question for the last two days.
Isn't it strange how we can take on the pain
of those that we love??
I'm not judging one bit, as I have asked myself the same
question when my girls have faced challenges.
But then it occurred to me, as it usually does after
you step away and ponder these tough questions - 
My friend wasn't/isn't doing anything wrong.
It's life.  Life is messy.  Feelings get hurt.  Friendships change.
Life changes.  As my dad use to say:
"change is the one constant in the world".
My friend Belinda gave me the best advice - she said something like this
"you can't control what goes on with your children outside of your home - you can
try, but you can't.  What you can control is what goes on inside your home.
You can create a calm, loving, supportive, forgiving environment so when
your children are hurt, scared, challenged, etc - they have a refuge to turn to".
I think she was so spot on.